Question by : How do you start a conversation with your boyfriend about the relationship problems youre having ?
me and my boyfriend are like having problems I feel like we are growing apart and im not mad or nothing but I just verification on the whole thing but I dont want to come off like im mad or anything..what do I doooo =(
Answer by Lydia loves purple
First, you understand he is going to be really lousy at this conversation. Try not to get mad at him because it probably is just lack of skill and not him being deliberately bad at talking.
Secondly, try to use language that won’t make him feel like he has to defend himself. Don’t say, “you make me feel…” or “you were like…” Instead, use this: “When you (specific thing he did), I felt (exactly how you felt, i.e., annoyed, sad).
Finally, try to come up with marching orders at the end, i.e., things he can do differently (“look at me when I talk”, or “when we are finished with an argument, give me a hug so I know things are okay”). Then, be sure to notice when he follows those marching orders and tell him thanks, and also remind yourself that it’s evidence that he cares.
Good luck. Guys really have a hard time with those conversations, but they’re trainable.
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